So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
