my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
