I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
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