My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
My breasts were aching with rage.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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