Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
