There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
