hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
