Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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