I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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