Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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