Banned from zoo.
Again?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
