This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
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When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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