like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
