do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
