Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
