I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
How naked do you want me to be?
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