hotel room ftw
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
