I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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