So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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