Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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