SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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