Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
You pole danced in your parka.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
