dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
do nipples grow back?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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