You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
