Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
