i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
