this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
