I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
