she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
