I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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