I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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