It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
