i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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