Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
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