we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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