I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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