my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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