I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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