The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
