Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
