i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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