i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
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