yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Be still, my beating vagina.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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