the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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