Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
