Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
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