I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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