break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
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