Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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