I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
