it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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