Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i need an iv and a liver transplant
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
