Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
