erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
