Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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