You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
