I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
