new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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