We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
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