what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
You left your underwear on the fireplace
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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