I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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