We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Randomize
