yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
