I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
