wanna go halves on a baby?
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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