i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
