Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
